


Crash Into Me

by GoalDigger



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Drama, F/M, Past Abuse, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23288761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoalDigger/pseuds/GoalDigger
Summary: When a new doctor arrives at the hospital she meets a man who will change her life forever. Can two broken people make it as one?
Relationships: Mark Sloan (Grey's Anatomy)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Starring**

**Shay Mitchell** as Dr. Savannah Young

_The Lost Soul_

> _"That's what happens when you let people in. They destroy you. I was broken when I met you. You pieced me back together. I was broken and somewhere along the line I must have broken you too."_

**Eric Dane** as Dr. Mark Sloan

_The Soulmate_

> _"You think you broke me sunshine? You're the one that pieced me back together."_

**Kevin McKidd** as Dr. Owen Hunt

_The Person_

> _"You're one of us now. You're safe here."_
> 
> **Patrick Dempsey** as Dr. Derek Shepherd
> 
> _The Best Friend_
> 
> _"I know Mark better than anyone. He's impulsive and arrogant and can be extremely selfish but he's also a loyal son of a bitch who loves with everything he has and I've never seen him more in love and happier than when he's with you."_
> 
> **Sara Rameriez** as Dr. Callie Torres
> 
> _The Package Deal_
> 
> _"I believe in love and second chances. I believe that if two people are meant to be together they will be."_
> 
> **Jesse Williams** as Dr. Jackson Avery
> 
> _The Protege_
> 
> _"If Mark has taught me anything it's that you have to fight for what you believe in."_
> 
> **Camilla Luddington** as Dr. Jo Wilson
> 
> _The Survivor_
> 
> _"If a man can't see past your scars then he doesn't deserve to be with you."_
> 
> **Jessica Capshaw** as Dr. Arizona Robbins
> 
> _The Pseudo Family_
> 
> _"I know we're not the closest but we're sort of family and there isn't any other person I'd rather do this with."_
> 
> **Chyler Leigh** as Dr. Lexie Grey
> 
> _The Cheerleader_
> 
> _"You guys have the once in a lifetime shout from the rooftops type of love."_
> 
> **Caterina Scorsone** as Dr. Amelia Shepherd
> 
> _The Realist_
> 
> _"I told you I'll never judge. You've made it this far and that tells me you're a survivor."_
> 
> **And**
> 
> **Justin Chambers** as Dr. Alex Karev
> 
> _The Hardass_
> 
> _"Want me to hurt him because I have no problem with that."_


	2. 3 Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Savannah Young attempts to leave the past behind and start a new life

**Song in this chapter is 3 Things by Jason Mraz**

* * *

_In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it's worth it._

_-Unknown_

Dr. Savannah Young entered Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital a massive grin across her face. The Boston native had left her job at the prestigious Massachusetts General Hospital. The minute she had been offered the job in Seattle she had planned her cross country move. A fresh start in a new state was in the cards for surgeon. For some it would be hard to make such a big change, for Savannah it was a necessary evil; it was time to pick up her life and turn it around. _What's left of my life._

"You must be Dr. Young," a red headed man greeted her.

"That's me," she stuck out her hand to greet the man, "Please call me Savannah."

"Owen Hunt, chief of trauma surgery," he happily shook the hand of his new attending. "I've heard about your work Dr. Young. You're a brilliant surgeon working at one of the best hospitals in the country."

"Thank you sir," she smiled.

Owen smiled back, "If you don't mind me asking, why leave?"

_There are three things I do when my life falls apart  
Number one I cry my eyes out and I dry up my heart  
Not until I do this will my new life start  
So that's the first thing that I do when my life falls apart_

The smile quickly faded from the surgeons face, "Just time for a change," was her brisk answer.

_Oh the second thing I would do is I close both of my eyes  
And say my thank-yous to each and every moment of my life  
I go where I know the love is and let it fill me up inside  
Gathering new strength from sorrow,  
I'm glad to be alive_

_This isn't Boston Savannah. Things will be different here._ Savannah tried to reassure herself. _This was the right choice._

Savannah quickly learned that like Mass General, Seattle Grace was a faced paced hospital. Nearly every OR was booked for the entire day with hospital staff running around throughout the hospital. Many surgeons thrived on fast paced; Savannah was one of them.

"Hi are you the new trauma surgeon?" a female voice questioned. A red headed woman who looked to be around Savannah's age was the source.

"Boy there's no such thing as secrets in this place is there?" laughed Savannah.

April shook her head, "I may have bugged Dr. Hunt until he told me where you were. I'm sorry is that creepy," she rambled, "I'm just excited to have another female trauma surgeon here. I mean Dr. Hunt is great but having another girl here is," she stopped, "I'm rambling aren't I?"

"Yes," grinned Savannah, "But its fine. I know what you mean. It's like a sisterhood."

_And things are looking up  
I know above the clouds the sun is shining  
Things are looking up  
Love is still the answer I'm relying, oh right  
Three little things  
Things are looking up_

"What made you leave Mass Gen? I mean it's great here, but hello Harper Avery."

Savannah quickly shot down the dark thoughts going through her mind; she would never tell the real reason she left; her rehearsed answer was all anyone was going to get. "It was time for a change," she politely excused herself from the conversation.

_Oh, the third thing that I do now when my world caves in,  
Is I pause, I take a breath, and bow and I let that chapter end  
I design my future bright not by where my life has been  
And I try, try, try, try, try again  
Yes I try, try, try, try, try again_

It was the end of longs shift for Savannah; she had been introduced to most of the staff and been able to perform her first surgery at her new workplace. That night she found herself at Emerald City Bar which she had quickly learned is referred to as Joe's and is the hotspot for doctors. She had been focused on her beer that she hardly noticed a man took the empty seat next to her; he noticed her.

"What's a beautiful woman like you doing drinking all alone?" the raspy voiced stranger questioned.

She turned to laugh when she caught herself immersed in his piercing blue eyes. Eyes that any woman could easily get lost in. His sandy hair and good looks told her he probably didn't have any problem with woman.

_Things are looking up  
I know beyond the dark the sun is rising_

"Does that line actually work," she smiled.

The brooding stranger smirked, "My charming personality and devilish good looks do the trick."

Just then her pager went off.

"You a doctor?"

"Savannah Young, Seattle Grace's new trauma surgeon," she extended her hand.

Another smirk spread across his face, "Mark Sloan. Head of Plastics. Seattle Grace."

_Things are looking up  
And I know above the clouds the sun is shining  
Things are looking up  
Love is still the answer I'm relying, oh right  
Three little things  
Three little things_

"I guess I'll be seeing you around," smiled Savannah before she exited the bar.

_"Some souls just understand each other upon meeting."_

_-N.R. Hart_


	3. Harder To Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past comes back to haunt Savannah

**The title of this chapter and song is Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5.**

_"Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down there's no science, no hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through."_

_~Meredith Grey_

_How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable_

_So condescending unnecessarily critical_

_I have the tendency of getting very physical_

_So watch your step 'cause if I do you'll need a miracle_

_You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here_

_This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear_

_You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone_

_Not fit to fuckin tread the ground that I'm walking on_

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. If you looked at the dark brown eyes of Savannah Young you would see a bright young doctor full of life and always happy. If you really looked into her eyes, you would see anything but. Nobody bothered to look deeper. Nobody saw what really went on behind those eyes.

"Good morning Sunshine," she heard the voice of Mark Sloan.

Savannah sat alone in the cafeteria eating breakfast, "What did you call me?"

"Sunshine," came his non chalant reply as he took a seat next to her.

She rolled her eyes in a playful manner before taking a bite of her strawberry.

"So how you enjoying Seattle Grace so far?"

She smiled, her eyes lighting up, "I love it here. Everyone is super nice. Except the head of plastics. Guys a real jerk. I hear he thinks he's a god."

"You wound me sunshine," he dramatically put his hand over his heart.

"Must you call me that?"

"Yes," he smirked.

"Hey Sloan I had a great time last night. Hit me up when you want to have fun again," a petite blonde burse spoke as she walked by.

Savannah pursed her lips, _You barely know the guy. You cant be jealous._ "Girlfriend?"

Mark shook his head, "She wishes."

She let out a small laugh, "You think that highly of yourself."

He smirked; that Mark Sloan smirk and winked, "When your as good looking as me you have to be."

_What a gorgeous man. Savannah stop. He'd never go for you._

"Whadda we got?" Savannah questioned as she walked into the room and over to the patient she had been paged to see.

"Elizabeth Masters, twenty three, possible concussion, multiple contusions on abdomen," April Kepner informed her as she worked on stopping the bleeding coming from her temple.

Savannah began to feel her ribs, placing pressure on it, "Her ribs are broken," she quickly determined, "What happened?"

"She fell down the stairs," a male voice spoke up.

"Who are you?" Kepner questioned.

"James her boyfriend," quickly responded the male.

Elizabeth began moaning in pain, "You're gonna be okay Lizzie," he told her reaching out to grab her hand.

It was a split second but Savannah swore she saw Elizabeth flinch at the gesture.

"Get her down for a CT scan and page Dr. Shepherd."

April nodded and began moving the gurney with Elizabeth, James followed suit. "You need to stay here."

"No I'm going with her," his voice raised.

"Kepner go."

Savannah didn't trust James' story, "There's nothing you can do for her. We will come and get you once the results come in." _Yeah right._

"Grade one concussion. Dr. Shepherd says no major swelling," April informed Savannah who appeared distracted.

"Dr. Young is something wrong?"

"Elizabeth Masters has been to the hospital three times in the last six months," Savannah searched her file, "Broken ribs, fractured jaw, sprained wrist. Claimed they were all accidents."

Kepner raised an eyebrow, "You don't believe that?"

"Not at all," she answered pulling out her cell phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Something that should have been done six months ago. Calling the police."

"You called the cops," a furious James yelled. The police had just left Elizabeth's room after hearing her side of the story.

"No I swear I didn't," she pleaded.

Owen and Savannah both entered the room, "I did."

"What the hell lady?"

"As a doctor I am a mandatory reporter of domestic violence."

He quickly replied, "Domestic violence? I've never laid a hand on her."

"Her previous injuries tell a different story," Savannah stood her ground.

James walked over to her; mere inches away. He rose his hand; she flinched which did not go unnoticed by Owen, "I want you out of here."

Before Savannah could open her mouth, Owen spoke up, "Dr. Young your off the case."

She stormed out of the room without saying a word. Once she rounded the corner she could feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest.

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say_

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head_

_You should know better you never listened to a word I said_

_Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat_

_Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did_

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say_

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

Savannah found Owen in his office later that day. "Dr. Young," he began.

"Dr. Hunt Elizabeth Masters is an abuse victim. I stand by that."

"She says she's not."

She sighed, "Of course she wont admit it. Her boyfriend hasn't left her side since she got here. If you would let me"

Owen cut her off, "Not going to happen Dr. Young. She told the cops she fell. She's not pressing charges."

"You really believe that story," her voice more irritated and louder.

"It doesn't matter what I believe. Her injuries are consistent with a fall and that's what she says happened."

"He pushed her," she yelled.

Owen folded his arms across his chest, "There's no proof of that. Why are you so sure this wasn't an accident?"

"All the classic signs," was her quick response.

Owen sighed, he had a feeling something else was going on but didn't bring it up, "I'm sorry Dr. Young there's nothing else we can do I suggest you drop it."

"Dr. Hunt..."

"Drop it!"

Savannah stormed out of the room without another word, walking straight into Mark Sloan in the process.

"Already getting on Hunt's bad side Sunshine," he smiled.

"Leave me alone," she yelled.

After a long day a mentally and emotionally drained Savannah finally made it back to her apartment. Once inside she put her purse down on the counter and opened the fridge to grab a cold beer.

After a few sips she placed the beer on the counter and grabbed her purse to search for her cell phone. Having been busy all day she had been unable to check her phone until now.

The screen instantly lit up. _3 Missed Calls. 4 Text Messages. Voicemail. Logan._

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say_

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_"Where are you?"_

_"Answer your phone."_

_"I'm not playing Savannah?_

_"You bitch!"_

_Does it thrill_

_Does it sting_

_When you feel what I bring_

_And you wish that you had me to hold_

_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love_

_You'll understand what I mean when I say_

_There's no way we're gonna give up_

_And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

_Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

With trembling hands she dialed her voicemail. Heart pouding when she heard his voice.

_"You can run but you can't hide."_

_Is there anyone out there 'casue it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

> _She's banged up. Mentally and emotionally. Literally and metaphorically. But everyday she walks outside with a smile on her face because that's who she is._


	4. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to move on but its oh so hard

**Song in this chapter is Demons by Imagine Dragons.**

**Forgive my lack of medical knowledge. Any info I'm using I got off the internet or saw on tv**

_What a shame that a girl who once believed in fairytales and magic had to be struck by reality with demons in her mind and the fear of never being loved._

_KF_

_When the days are cold  
And the cards all fold  
And the saints we see  
Are all made of gold  
  
When your dreams all fail  
And the ones we hail  
Are the worst of all  
And the blood's run stale_

Savannah tossed and turned the whole night. Every time she closed her eyes she would see Logan's face. Hear his words.

_You can run but you can't hide._

Those words sent shivers down her spine. She knew it was only a matter of time before he made good on those words.

The rest of the night followed the same pattern of closing her eyes only to be faced with her nightmare. A total of maybe an hour of sleep was had that night.

The next morning Savannah entered the hospital, both mentally and emotionally exhausted from the events of the previous day. Savannah wore her emotions on her sleeve so keeping her current state to herself was going to be difficult.

"Hey," Mark greeted. That gravely voice she quickly grew to enjoy. They only knew each other for a few days but that didn't matter to Savannah. There was something about him; something that made her comfortable whenever he was around. Her guard was always up when it came to men, but Mark Sloan was different.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

_I wanna hide the truth  
I wanna shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There's nowhere we can hide  
  
No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come  
  
When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide_

She put a smile on her face because that's what she always did, "I'm fine." _I'm far from fine._

"You sure? I heard about your patient yesterday and your argument with Hunt."

 _Damnit Mark Sloan why do you have to be such a great guy, "_ Just having a bad day. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's all good sunshine. Pissed off Savannah's kinda hot," he smirked.

Red flush spread across her cheeks, "Maybe I'll have to get pissed more often." _What are you doing Savannah? You cant flirt with him._

"You flirting with me Young?"

"Wouldn't dream of it Sloan." _You're nothing. You're pathetic. No other man will ever want you Savannah._ Logan's taunting words swirled in her head. Just like that the smile on her face faded away.

"I gotta go," and with that she walked off.

Three months passed. Savannah continued to receive texts and calls from Logan. She deleted the voicemails; knowing that hearing his voice would bring back the nightmares. His text all the same; the usual threats that she knew sooner or later he would make good on. She feared he'd find her. She didn't want to leave Seattle. It had become her home, she had made friends; Owen and Callie, and then there was Mark. Mark Sloan quickly wormed his way into her thoughts and it scared her.

_At the curtain's call  
It's the last of all  
When the lights fade out  
All the sinners crawl  
  
So they dug your grave  
And the masquerade  
Will come calling out  
At the mess you made  
  
Don't wanna let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don't wanna hide the truth  
  
No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come  
  
When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
  
_

"Incoming trauma. Patient struck with a blunt force object. Unconscious," an EMT announced as she entered the trauma bay.

"Elizabeth."

Elizabeth Masters lay before a shocked Savannah.

"You know her?" the EMT questioned.

"She's a former patient," she turned to her intern Lexie Grey, "Get her down for a CT scan and page Shepherd now."

Images of the numerous beatings she suffered from Logan ran through her head. All the times he'd shake her so violently her head would hurt for days after. The punches he'd land on her face. The bruises she tried in vain to cover. Staring down at Elizabeth was like looking in a mirror.

"She's coding!"

Those words snapped Savannah out of her thoughts.

Immediately Savannah snapped back into doctor mode and called for a defibrillator.

"Heart rate is dropping," Lexie announced.

"Clear," she administered the shock. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

Savannah attempted to resuscitate for the next several minutes. She hadn't noticed Owen enter the room.

"Dr. Young," Lexie called trying to get her attention, "She's gone."

Savannah ignored her. In vain she tried again.

"Dr. Young. Call it," this time Owen spoke.

Savannah looked up, in a low monotone voice she spoke, "Time of death eleven twenty-three."

Tears stung in her eyes, she walked past Owen and Lexie, "I need air."

She sat on the bed of an empty on call room. The door opened; she tried to wipe the tears away. Looking up she saw a concerned Owen Hunt.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Owen questioned.

She wiped away the remaining tears, "For running out like that."

He took a seat next to her, "I'm the one who's sorry," she raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry for not pushing harder three months ago."

"Yeah well there's nothing we can do now," her voice a mixture of anger, guilt and sadness.

"This is personal for you isn't it?" it was more of a statement than a question. Savannah remained silent but her eyes told the story. Her eyes full of sorrow, "How long?"

_They say it's what you make  
I say it's up to fate  
It's woven in my soul  
I need to let you go  
  
Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I wanna save that light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how  
  
When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide _

"Five years. Please don't tell anyone," her eyes know pleading with the older man, "That's why I'm here. I had to escape. I came to Seattle to get away from him and then it started all over again with Elizabeth. I looked at her and I saw me."

"You got out. You survived."

"For now. What if he finds me?" the fear apparent in her voice.

"You're one of us now. Your safe here."

Something in his voice made her feel that he was genuine, "I want you to know that you can come to me with anything."

"Its hard for me to trust people. But your different. I feel at ease with you Dr. Hunt....Owen."

Owen smiled, "You've become like a little sister to me." He embraced her in a friendly hug.

"Does this mean you're my person? I hear that's a thing here," grinned Savannah.

Owen responded with a smile, "I'll be your person."

> _This is life. Bad things happen. Its hard. You find your people. You find your person and you lean on them._
> 
> _Meredith Grey_


	5. Get Back Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savannah learns what its like to have people in her life she can trust

**I will be using storylines from the show but I will not be following cannon strictly.**

**Song is Get Back Up by tobyMac**

> _"I hid it all. Deep down. I buried the worries and all the fears. I choked back the what ifs and I concentrated on the positives. I trained myself to smile without prompt and I forced my happiness upon the world. I could never figure out how to place that smile in my eyes...but that's ok. That's where everything is buried-----and few people looked for me there."_
> 
> _-Alfa_

_You turned away when I looked you in the eye,_

_And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,_

_Seems like you're fighting for your life,_

_But why? oh why?_

_Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,_

_You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where,_

_And theres always scars_

_When you fall back far_ ****

Ever since Savannah had confided in Owen it was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Though the nightmares continued; they consumed of Logan finding her in Seattle she found herself for the first time since she could remember feeling as though things were looking up.

She continued to bury herself in her work. The hospital became her safe haven. Her work as a doctor and a surgeon meant the world to her. She often felt that was all she had in the world.

Savannah was absorbed in her thoughts but that didn't stop her from noticing her surroundings. Mainly Mark Sloan. Mark Sloan flirting with a couple of nurses, who all batted their eyes at the handsome plastic surgeon. She rolled her eyes at the scene; which caught the man's eye as he left the woman he was speaking with and walked over to the brunette.

"Don't you have some shameless flirting to do?"

"Jealous sunshine," he smirked.

"In your dreams Sloan," she smiled.

"How'd you know," he winked.

She was lost. Lost in his eyes, his smile, his words. It was as if for a split second they were the only two people to exist. But then reality came crashing down.

"No."

Mark furrowed his brow confused.

"No he can't be here," her face full of fear.

"Who can't be here? What's going on?"

"Logan," she whispered before she ran.

Savannah sat in Owen's office; the one place she felt safe at the moment. Owen had spoken to security to be on the lookout for the man. They reviewed the security tapes and found nothing.

"How did he know I was here?" she questioned out loud.

"Savannah," Owen started.

"You told me I was safe here."

"You are," he told her, "We found nothing on the footage. I don't think he was here."

"I saw him Owen. I saw him."

"What if you didn't?"

"You think I'm crazy. That I hallucinated him?"

"I think you've been through a lot lately and with what happened with Elizabeth you've been thinking about him lately."

"I...what if he finds me?" her eyes filled with tears.

_We lose our way,_

_We get back up again_

_It's never too late to get back up again,_

_One day you will shine again,_

_You may be knocked down,_

_But not out forever,_

_Lose our way,_

_We get back up again,_

_So get up, get up,_

_You gonna shine again,_

_Never too late to get back up again,_

_You may be knocked down,_

_But not out forever_

_(May be knocked down but not out forever)_

"Hey what did I tell you Savannah," Owen spoke, "Your one of us. Nothing is going to happen to you."

There was a knock on the door. Savannah jumped.

"Its just Sloan," he informed her, walking to the door and letting the other man in.

"I'll leave you two alone," he said as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

"What's going on?" a confused Mark questioned. Shortly after Savannah had run away without word he had been paged by Owen to come to his office.

"Nothing. What are you doing here?"

"Hunt paged me."

She shook her head; not understanding why he brought Mark into this.

"I gotta go. I have patients to check on," Savannah turned to leave.

"Don't," he grabbed her wrist to stop her and immediately she flinched.

"Savannah," Mark muttered walking toward her.

She walked backward, fear written all over her face.

"Hey hey what's going on?" his voice was so soft and full of concern.

Time stood still. _Do I tell him? Do I put it all out there?_

Her heart began pounding, her eyes watering, with labored breath she began to speak, "The reason I'm here...the reason I am in Seattle is that I'm afraid to be in Boston. I'm afraid if I stayed there I was going to die."

Mark was stunned. He tried to speak but Savannah cut him off, "I came to Seattle to get away fro my boyfriend...my ex boyfriend," tears now freely poured down her face, "He hits me. He beats me. Badly. It had gotten to the point that I couldn't hide the bruises anymore," she paused, "He found out I was looking for a new job and he threatened to kill me. I knew he'd make good on it. Somehow he hadn't found out about me talking to Hunt. But today," she wiped the tears, "I saw him here Mark. Logan was here and now I have to leave."

He stood silent for a moment, taking in her confession, "You're not going anywhere."

She shook her head, ignoring his words, "Owen says they didn't find him on camera. He thinks I hallucinated him. I'm not crazy."

"I know you're not crazy," he assured her. They both made eye contact, and neither could turn away.

"I have to finish my shift," Savannah broke the tension.

"Savannah."

"I'm fine," she lied, "Please don't tell anyone we had this conversation."

_You rolled out at the dawning of the day_

_Heart racin' as you make your little get-away_

_It feels like you've been runnin' all your life_

_But why, oh, why?_

"You didn't have to drive me home Mark, I'm fine," Savannah told him.

After her confession, Mark spoke with Owen about Savannah and what he knew about her ex boyfriend.

"Owen would kill me if I didn't make sure you got home safe," he joked.

She smiled the first real smile in a while.

"There's that beautiful smile Sunshine."

Her cheeks flushed, she could feel face turning red. "Goodbye Mark."

Later that evening there was a knock on the door. She opened it to reveal Mark Sloan with a black eye and a busted lip.

"What happened?" a concerned Savannah asked.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course," she ushered him inside.

Quietly she walked over to her freezer and grabbed something from the inside. Walking back over to Mark she handed it to him, "All I have is frozen peas," she gave a small smile.

He accepted it, gently placing it in his eye.

"You gonna tell me what happened?"

"You should see the other guy," he joked.

Savannah folded her arms, clearly not amused.

"I found Logan hanging around outside the hospital so he an I had a little talk," he informed her.

The blood drained from her face, "What? What the hell is the matter with you," her voice rising in anger, "He's going to come after both of us now. What if he knows where I live? How did he even know I was here?" she began pacing, "I have to leave Seattle. He's going to find me."

_So you pulled away from the love that would've been there_

_And start believin' that your situation's unfair_

_But there's always scars_

Mark tossed the bag on her counter, "Hey. Hey," she was still pacing, he stood in front of her, gently he placed his hands on her face, "Listen to me. He's on a flight back to Boston, I promise you he's not coming back."

"You don't know that."

_We lose our way, we get back up again_

_It's never too late to get back up again_

_And one day you gonna shine again_

"He is not coming anywhere near you. I promise you. As long as I'm here he's not going to hurt you."

> _"You drained me of my identity and injected self doubt into my veins. Left me questioning my own sanity. Walking around aimlessly at war with my own body everyday. Trying to scrub your heavy words off my skin. My mental state has been shaken to its core. I don't know who I am anymore._
> 
> _ES_


	6. Not Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savannah finally feels like she's home.

**Song is Not Today by Alessia Cara**

> _"Trauma creates change you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose."_
> 
> _~Michelle Rosenthal_

_Someday I won't be afraid of my head_

_Someday I will not be chained to my bed_

_Someday I'll forgot the day he left_

_But surely not today_

_One day I wont a PHD_

_To sit me down and tell me what it all means_

_Maybe one day it'll be a breeze_

_But surely not today_

_But surely not today_

_Oh you don't know what sadness means_

_Till you're too sad fall asleep_

_One day ill be snoozing peacefully_

_But surely not today_

_Surely not today_

The following day Savannah entered the hospital with a genuine smile. The first genuine smile she had in months. She knew it would take time to get over everything with Logan. Truthfully she didn't know if it was something she could ever get over. But she wanted to try.

She pulled up to the building her GPS had told her. It was a small building, nothing special about it from the outside.

Stepping inside she noted there were about ten women all gathered in a circle.

A woman, she figured was in her mid fifties walked up and greeted her. "Hi I'm Ashley Moore, you must be Savannah."

A small smile graced her face, "Savannah Young," she held out her hand politely for the older woman to shake.

"Welcome Savannah. Take a seat we were just about to start."

Savannah down. Minutes later the meeting began.

"Everyone meet our newest member Savannah," Ashley introduced, "Savannah why don't you tell us a little about yourself."

"Hi I'm Savannah," she began, "I am a trauma surgeon at Seattle Grace. I moved to Seattle a couple of months ago to get away from my ex," she paused, all the memories and emotions flooding back, "We started out really good. We were happy. I can't remember when things took a turn. It started out with verbal abuse. He'd call me names. Bitch. Slut. Tell me I'm stupid. Then one night I got mad at him. He uh came home late drunk. I started yelling...and then he hit me," the tears were now flowing, "He said he was sorry. That he wouldn't do it again. And I stupidly believed him. But he did. Again and again. After some years I just couldn't take it anymore, I found a job opening at Seattle Grace and took it. He came back one night and I had left."

It was if a weight had been lifted of Savannah's shoulders baring her soul and telling her story to other woman who knew what she was going through. For a long time, it felt like she had been alone; Logan had alienated all her friends; she had no family left. She was all alone. Or so she thought.

"I just... I want to be able to sleep without having nightmares. Not to flinch when a man reaches out. I just want things to go back to normal," she let out a bitter laugh, "I don't know what normal feels like anymore."

"You are a survivor," assured Ashley, "You got away Savannah. Things may not feel that way now but one day that will change."

_One day I'll swear the will be a blip_

_Ill have the hardest time recalling it_

_Ill be the kind of misery management_

_But surely not today_

_One day the song wont make me cry anymore (oh no no)_

_One day I'll get off of the bathroom floor (hey yeah)_

_Oh piece by piece I'll be restored_

_But surely not today (surely not not)_

_Eh, not today_

And so over the next several weeks Savannah continued to meetings on a weekly basis.

"You seem different," noted Owen.

"Good different or bad different?" Savannah questioned.

The two friends took a seat in the cafeteria of the hospital.

"Good different. You seem lighter."

Savannah raised an eyebrow amused.

"I mean..."

She let out a small laugh, "I get what your saying," she paused, "These sessions have been. Its like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder."

"That's great," beamed a proud Owen, "I'm really happy for you."

"Sunshine. Owen," a Mark spoke before sitting in the empty seat at their table.

"Sloan," Owen politely greeted.

"What's got you all smiley?" questioned Sloan.

"Just life."

_Oh you don't know what happy means_

_If its only in your dreams_

_I'll be acquainted with my jollities_

_But surely not today_

_Yeah, surely not today_

"I need your help."

"Hey Mark come in," a sarcastic response came from Arizona.

Mark entered Callie and Arizona's apartment without so much as a knock.

"I need your help," he spoke directly to Callie.

"So you keep saying," Arizona retorted.

"What do you need Mark?" Callie smiled.

Mark appeared nervous before he spoke, "You know Savannah right?"

Callie chuckled, "Yes I know Dr. Young."

"Her birthday is next week and I don't know what to get her."

The two woman turned to each other and grinned.

"What?"

"You're so adorable," smiled Callie.

"What?"

"You like her."

"As a friend."

Callie rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

"She's just been through a lot and I just want to do something nice for her."

Neither woman said anything as they just stared at the man in front of them.

"You gonna help me or not?"

Arizona smiled, "You gonna admit you have feelings for her or not?"

"Kepner what's the rush?" Savannah said as April practically dragged her into the attending's lounge.

"Surprise!!"

Mark, Callie, Arizona, Amelia, Meredith, Derek, Jackson and Owen stood around, balloons adorned the room while each doctor wore a party hat.

"What's all this?" a shocked Savannah questioned.

"Your birthday party," smiled April.

"How did you know when my birthday was?" she locked eyes with Owen.

He shook his head, "Wasn't me."

"Sloan put this all together," announced Jackson.

Savannah's eyes then locked with Mark's, "Thank you," she mouthed.

Savannah could feel tears brimming in her eyes. She had been in Seattle in less than a year and could honestly call those around her friends.

_"No one will ever love you as much as I do Savannah"_

_"You're useless"_

Savannah shook her head trying to erase that voice. The voice she had been able to keep away for weeks. But it appeared any time she started to feel the slightest bit of happiness Logan's voice always pulled through.

_Surely not, surely not_

_Surely not (surely not today)_

One by one each person in the room greeted Savannah with a hug and a happy birthday. The smile on her face genuine but inside she also fought to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

_One day the thought of him wont hurt the same_

_Wont need distractions to get through the day_

"You okay there sunshine you seem a little distracted?"

_I guess I hope I'm gonna be okay_

Savannah smiled, "I'm fine. Thank you for this Mark."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Here open this," he said handing her a large gift bag.

"What? No. This more than enough."

"Just open it."

She pulled out the tissue paper to reveal a beautiful black and white painting of the Seattle skyline with the word _Home_ spelled out in stars.

"This is beautiful," she leaned forward and pulled him into an embrace.

"Your home now," he whispered to her.

She wanted to feel that. She wanted to believe it.

_I guess I hope I'm gonna be okay_

_Cause I'm not today_

> _"She wears strength and darkness equally well, the girl has always been half dark and half hell."_
> 
> _~Nikita Gill_


	7. Skyscraper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Savannah finds the strength she didn't know she had

**I am not completely following canon but will be using storylines from different seasons.**

**Song is Skyscraper by Demi Lovato**

_"When I look in the mirror, I know I'm looking at someone who isn't sure she deserves to be loved at all."_

_Nicholas Sparks_

_Skies are crying, I am watching  
Catching tear drops in my hands  
Only silence as it's ending  
Like we never had a chance  
Do you have to make me feel like  
There's nothing left of me?  
_

Owen and Savannah were currently eating breakfast at Geraldine's Counter a local diner in Seattle. The two tried to make an effort to go out for breakfast at least twice a month.

"What's wrong?" questioned Owen nearly ten minutes after they sat down to eat.

"Nothing," Savannah shook her head as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Savannah," the older man gave her a stern look.

"I'm fine Owen."

"How's the support group going?" he changed the directory of his questions hoping to get an answer.

"It's fine."

"Sav."

"What do you want me to say?" she began, "That I don't think that I'll ever be able to move on from Logan? There are days when I feel at ease and confident that I'm going to be okay. But those days are outweighed by the bad days. I feel alone and scared and that all the things he's said to me are true." _I'm not going to cry_

"What have you learned from these meetings Sav?"

"That I'm a survivor."

Owen smiled, "You're a survivor."

_You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper_

"But I'm tired of everybody treating me like I was made of glass," admitted Savannah. Seattle may be a big city, but Seattle Grace Mercy West was a city in and of itself. Everyone knows everything. Somehow word got out about Savannah's past. Though not upset people knew she felt like they were treating her different. "April's been super nice and supportive, but she keeps hugging me," Savannah let out a chuckle, "Jackson and Callie told me if I ever needed anyone to talk to, they'd be there. Hell, even Karev threatened to hurt him if he ever shows his face in Seattle again."

"What does that tell you?"

Savannah cracked a smile, "That this is my home."

_As the smoke clears, I awaken  
And untangle you from me  
Would it make you feel better  
To watch me while I bleed?  
All my windows still are broken  
But I'm standing on my feet_

Savannah truly enjoyed the meetings; it was therapeutic for her to be able to talk to other women who had been through what she had. Like she had told Owen, there were days that she struggled. The negative thoughts and feelings outweighed the positive a lot of days. She tried to remind herself to think positive but boy that was easier said than done.

"Ladies, please welcome Jo to our group," Ashley introduced.

A shocked Savannah looked up from her seat to see a timid looking Jo Wilson standing in front of her. Jo had heard the murmurs through the hospital about Savannah but had not spoken to her coworker, so she wasn't sure if the rumors were true.

"Why don't you take a seat next to Savannah" Ashley pointed to the empty chair next to the brunette.

Ashley took her seat and spoke up, "Jo, would you like to share anything?"

Jo took a deep breath, "My ex, my husband. A lot. Everything I did was wrong. He almost killed me," tears were freely flowing, "I was scared. So, I ran. And now I'm with an amazing guy who wants to marry me, and I can't because I never divorced my husband. Now I'm scared he'll find me."

Savannah was silent as she grabbed Jo's hand and gave it a squeeze. Silently letting her know she was no longer alone.

_You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper_

Several days later, Savannah was doing her rounds when she saw Mark exiting an on-call room, looking slightly disheveled. Moments later a nurse walked out, heading the opposite way.

Their eyes locked. Savannah tried to hide her jealousy, but Mark saw right through her.

He was walking towards her now. She quickly turned and walked the other way.

"Savannah wait!" he picked up his pace to catch up to her.

"What?" the hurt was evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulders, "For what?"

"Savannah," he began.

"You have nothing to apologize for Mark. You don't owe me any explanations about your life."

She began to walk away.

"Savannah," he called out.

"I've got rounds to do Dr. Sloan."

"Thanks for forcing me to come out tonight Callie. I really needed this," Savannah spoke as she took a sip of her beer."

"And I needed this girl's night," smirked Callie.

"Hey ladies," the smooth voice of Mark Sloan filled the room, "Fancy seeing you two here."

Savannah glared at Callie, "Really Cal?"

She put her hands up, "Hey I didn't invite him."

"Come on sunshine am I really that bad?" he smirked.

"No but I am," her tone was serious. Before he could say anything else, she walked away.

Callie gave Mark a scowl, "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything."

Callie continued to glare at him, knowing something was up.

He sighed, "She caught me with another woman."

"You're a pig."

"We're not together Callie."

"But you want to be. You damn well know she wants it too. You might have just royally screwed that up."

"Let go of me," Callie and Mark heard the scream. They knew the voice belonged to Savannah. The two doctors rushed over to where their friend was only to see her land a right hook square in the man's eye.

"You bitch!" yelled the stranger as he took an aggressive step forward.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Mark spoke, stepping in between the two of them.

"She hit me."

"You grabbed me you jackass."

"Leave now," Mark sternly tells the man.

"Whatever," the man storms off.

"You okay?" a concerned Callie asks

"I just wanna go home."

"I'll call you a cab."

"I'll take her home," Mark speaks up.

Savannah, who was in no mood to argue simply said, "Thanks."

"Let me know when you make it home" Callie said giving her a hug.

"I will."

_Go run, run, run  
I'm gonna stay right here,  
Watch you disappear  
Yeah, oh  
Go run, run, run  
Yeah, it's a long way down  
But I am closer to the clouds up here_

"Thanks for the ride home."

Mark said nothing as he entered her apartment.

"You can come in," she said flatly.

"You got a mean right hand there," he jokes.

"When he grabbed me," she paused, "I looked at him and all I saw was Logan."

"Did it feel good?" he questioned.

"Little bit," her face broke out into a small smile.

_You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Oh Oh  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper_

_(Like a skyscraper)_

_Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper_

_"My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong and they made me prove it."_

_Emery Lord_


	8. Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A life changing event forces Savannah and Mark to confront their true feelings

**This story uses current cast members as well as former members: I guess you can say it's set starting season 6 though obviously I'm not following canon.**

**THIS IS ABOUT EPISODES 6X23 SANCTUARY AND 6X24 DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS. ANY RECOGNIZABLE SCENES AND DIALOGE BELONG TO GREYS ANATOMY. SOME SCENCES HAVE BEEN TAKEN AND ALTERED TO FIT THE STORY.**

**THE SONG IN THIS CHAPTER IS HALLELUJAH BY LEONARD COEHN**

_"The tragedy of life is not death.... but what we let die inside of us while we live."_

_~Norman Cousin_

_Well, I heard there was a secret cord_

_That David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you?_

_Well it goes like this:_

_The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

Stepping into the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West it felt like any other day. The hospital was busy; patients, doctors, nurses, visitors all going about their normal routine activities. Nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

Everyone at Seattle was about to find out that it was anything but an ordinary day.

Two hours into her shift, Savannah heard a loud noise, coming from a nearby supply closet. She walked over to see what the commotion was all about.

The next few seconds happened so fast she couldn't react. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone on the floor, unmoving covered in blood.

Then a gun was pointed straight at her.

A searing pain went through her chest.

There was blood. So much blood.

Somehow with all her might she crawled to the nearest elevator.

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the rood_

_Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you_

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne and she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

By now, the hospital had been put on lockdown due to the gunman roaming the halls of the hospital. Savannah had hoped and prayed someone would find her and soon.

The doors to the elevator opened and by then Savannah was unconscious. Mark and Lexie Grey stood shocked seeing the bloodied woman lying there.

"Oh my god," exclaimed Lexie.

"Savannah!" Mark screamed in horror. He picked up her unconscious body and carried her to an empty conference room. Lexi right behind him with some supplies to try and save their colleagues life.

Savannah awoke, in an immense amount of pain, "What happened?"

"You've been shot," Mark tells her.

"Mark, we have to get her out here. He can come back Mark. We have to get her out of here," pleaded Lexie.

"There's no exit wound," Mark ignored Lexie's pleading, knowing leaving was not an option, "There's no exit wound. We're gonna have to flip her. Lexie grab her shoulders."

"We have to get her out of here," she continued to plead.

"Lexie's she's losing blood. Shut up and help."

"Start an IV I'll set up a chest tube," Mark instructs her.

Lexie stood by her side trying to keep the scared surgeon calm, "Your gonna be okay Savannah."

"You're doing great sunshine, you're doing great. Now I have to put in a chest tube."

"No no."

The pain was unimaginable, Mark cutting into her skin to insert the tube. Savannah began to scream in pain.

"I know it hurts but you gotta be quiet," he tells her.

Savannah continued to scream.

"Lexie do something to shut her up," it was harsh but they needed her to be quiet; for fear that the gunman would hear the screams and come back.

Lexie grabs a towel and shoved it in her mouth for her to bit down on; muffling the screams.

_Baby I've been here before_

_I've seen this room I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

_And I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

After all was said and done Lexie took Savannah's vitals.

"She's losing a lot of blood. She's gonna need a transfusion," the sadness and pain in Mark's voice was evident.

"I don't know what we're gonna do."

"I'll go. I'll go get it," Lexie volunteered.

"That's insane. I'll go."

"No, I don't know what to do. You know what to do. I can't do nothing," Lexie looked down at the surgeon lying on the table, "We can't do nothing. We can't let her die."

"Please be careful," Savannah said, her breath labored.

With that Lexie exited the room leaving Mark and Savannah alone.

_There was a time you let me know_

_What's really going on below_

_But now you never show it to me, do you?_

_And remember when I moved in you_

_The holy dove was moving too_

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

"I don't want to die," her voice full of fear.

"You're not going to die. I won't let you."

"I'm scared."

Mark grabs her hand in his, "I know you are sunshine," his fingers stroking her hand comfortingly.

"I'm gonna die."

"No, you're not."

"Mark."

"Do you trust me," he interrupted her.

Without hesitation Savannah replied, "With my life."

"I promise you I'm not going to let you die. I haven't gotten to take you out on a date yet."

Despite the pain she was able to force a smile, "A date? Me?"

"Don't act surprised sunshine," Mark used his free hand to lovingly stroke her hair, "I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you."

"I want that too," admitted Savannah, "But I'm scared."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know," she grimaced in pain "Do you have a date planned?"

"Of course," he smirked that signature Mark Sloan smile.

"That sure of yourself?"

"You can't resist me."

"Tell me about our date."

"First off you wear a tight-fitting black dress that I know you own. Shows off your smoking hot body."

"You're a pig," laughed which was extremely painful, "Ahh."

"Shh," he continued to rub comforting motions on her hand.

"I pick you up at your place with a bouquet of sunflowers."

"My favorite."

"I know. Then I take you to Canlis, the fanciest damn place in the city. After dinner I take you on the Ferris wheel because I know how much you love them. Then we take a walk in the park because neither of us want the night to end."

"That sounds nice." Savannah's eyes start to close, the pain becoming more and more unbearable.

"Hey hey you gotta stay awake. This will be over soon."

"It hurts," she cries.

"I know it does," he places a loving kiss on her hand intertwined with his, "Keep holding my hand. Don't think about the pain."

"Don't let go."

"I won't," he assured her, "Ever."

Her eyes shut. Her breathing continued to be labored. The pain beginning to become too much for her to handle.

_You say I took the name in vain_

_I don't even know the name_

_But if I did, well really what's it to you?_

_There's a blaze of light in every word_

_It doesn't matter which you heard_

_The holy or the broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

It seemed like an eternity before Lexie returned. She was breathing heavily, tears streaming down her face, "She can't die. Please don't let her die. This is all my fault," she cried, "I unplugged his wife."

"She's not gonna die Grey. I won't let that happen."

"You really care about her?" it was more of a statement than a question.

Mark said nothing just nodded. The reality of the situation they were in started to settle in. He couldn't think about it at the moment. He needed to make sure of his promise that Savannah wasn't going to die.

"So, the transfusion is working?" Lexie asked.

"For now. But she needs to get out of here soon."

Savannah eyes fluttered opened. A small smile graced both Lexie and Mark's faces.

"Hey sunshine. How you feeling?"

"Like I got shot."

Just then the door to the room swung open. Two members of SWAT entered with their guns drawn, "This floor has been cleared. We're going to evacuate you now."

_Maybe there's a God above_

_But all I've ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot someone who outdrew you_

_And it's not a cry you hear at night_

_It's not someone who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

"GSW to the right chest we put in a chest tube. She's got three liters of LR two units of packed cells," Mark informed the paramedics along with Dr. Teddy Altman as the stretcher carrying Savannah was rolled out.

"Let's get her into the ambulance. Call Seattle Pres and let them know were coming," Teddy told the paramedics.

Mark attempted to step in the ambulance but was stopped by Teddy. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going with her and you're not going to stop me."

Mark walked straight into the ambulance and took a seat. Once again grabbing a hold of Savannah's hand.

Once at Seattle Pres, Teddy scrubbed in on Savannah's surgery which was now over.

"How's she doing?" a concerned Mark asked as he glanced over to the room Savannah was currently in; a breathing tube in her nose.

"We got the bullet out. It didn't hit any major arteries," she began to inform him, "She lost a lot of blood. Her body is weak at the moment."

"She's going to be okay?"

Teddy shook her head, "Yes. She just needs some time. Her body needs to recover."

"Thank you, Teddy."

"No need to thank my Mark. You saved her life. You and Lexie."

Mark sat by her side the rest of the day and into the night, waiting for her to wake up. Her hand in his the whole time.

"Mark," a hushed voice called out.

"Hey sunshine," he smiled.

"I'm alive," it was a statement not a question.

"You're alive," he placed a kiss on their intertwined hands, "Would I break my promise to you?"

_I did my best it wasn't much_

_I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch_

_I've told the truth I didn't come to fool you_

"Hey how you feeling?" Owen questioned as he sat near his friends bedside the following day.

"I'll be fine," she tried to sound strong but the tears suddenly fell from her eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"I was shot. In a hospital. Where I work," she burst out laughing, still mixed with tears.

"Why the hell are you laughing?"

"I got shot," she repeated, "I left Boston to get away from the abuse and I come here and nearly die," she continued to laugh.

Owen shook his head, "Your something else Savannah."

"Mark told me what happened. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm more concerned about you."

She sighed, "Any time I close my eyes I see the barrel of a gun. I hear the shot. Over and over again."

_And even though it all went wrong_

_I'll stand before the Lord of Song_

_With nothing on my tongue by Hallelujah_

"Hey Lexie can I talk to you for a minute."

Lexie Grey turned around to see Savannah standing in front of her holding a bouquet of carnations.

"Dr. Young, I didn't know you were back."

"Call me Savannah," she tells the young doctor, "I was released yesterday." It had been two weeks since the shooting. "I haven't been cleared yet. I'm here to see the counselor."

The hospital had mandated that everyone see a counselor and had to be cleared by them before they could return to work.

"I got you flowers," Savannah said, "I know it doesn't equate to what you did for me. I mean what do you get someone who saved your life."

"I didn't."

"You saved my life Lexie. You and Mark did. I can never repay either one of you but here take these," she handed her the bouquet.

"Thanks," Lexie smiled the first time since the shooting, "How are you?"

"I keep having nightmares," she admitted, "I just want to get back here. Surgery takes my mind off of everything. How are you?"

"Everyone around here thinks I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy. You stared down the barrel of a gun and survived. I know what that is. And its not crazy.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

"Hey how you feeling?" Mark questioned.

"I'm fine," she snapped, "I'm sorry. It's just everybody keeps asking me how I'm doing."

"You were shot."

"I know I was shot. I was there. I felt it. I felt the bullet piercing my skin. The blood draining out of my body. I felt you cutting me open. And for the last two weeks every time I closed my eyes I saw that bullet. I felt the pain all over again. So I guess. I guess I'm not doing okay at this moment."

Mark opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Savannah, "But I am alive. I didn't die and right now it's about time I start living my life."

_"Maybe it takes a near death experience to make us feel alive"_

_Unknown_


	9. Beautifully Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Savannah finally go on a date

_“We’re all a little broken. That’s how the light gets in.”_

_Ernest Hemingway_

**Song is Beautifully Broken by Plumb**

_Every tear, every doubt  
Every time you've fallen down  
When you're hurting, feeling shame  
When you're numbing all your pain  
When you've lost your way  
And feel so far away  
You're not_

A month had passed since the shooting and Savannah had just been cleared to return to surgery. The nightmares continued and so she decided that continuing with therapy would not only help her with the lingering effects of the shooting but with all her other issues stemming from Logan and his abuse.

On the plus side, her date with Mark had been set for tonight. Though he wanted to take her out right after she had been released from the hospital, he decided to give her time to heal mentally from the shooting. Both Mark and Lexie had constantly checked up on Savannah after the shooting to make sure she was doing okay. Lexie and Savannah thus began to bond and help each other through the emotional aftermath of the traumatizing event.

“You didn’t ask me out just cuz I was dying right? That would be pretty messed up.” Savannah jokingly asked Mark.

“I meant every word.” There was that smirk. That patented Mark Sloan smirk.

“Okay then. I’ll see you tonight,” Savannah replied, failing miserably to hide the fact that she was as giddy as a teenage girl at the moment.

“Tonight,” Mark said as he retreated down the hall to check on his patient.

Savannah smiled her first genuine smile in weeks, “Tonight.”

“You and Dr. Sloan are finally going out!” Savannah heard a chipper voice from behind her say.

She jumped, her hand dramatically placed on her heart and turned around, “Jesus Kepner, you can’t just sneak up on people.”

“I’m sorry,” beamed the red headed surgeon, “I’m just so happy for you. This is so exciting.”

“Geez April you’re more excited about this then I am.”

“I’m sorry. I just love love.”

“Whoa,” Savannah put her hands up, “It’s not love. It’s just one date.”

April smiled, knowing deep down they were destined to be more than just one date.

_You're beautifully broken  
And you can be whole again  
Even a million scars  
Doesn't change whose you are  
You're worthy  
Beautifully broken_

“How many black dresses do you have?” Jo questioned as she sorted through Savannah’s closet later that night. It was nearing time for Mark and Savannah’s date and Jo, Callie and Lexie had insisted on coming to her apartment to help her get ready for the date.

Savannah shrugged her shoulders, “It’s my favorite color.” Callie stood in front of Savannah applying her makeup while Lexie stood behind curling her hair.

“Oww,” Savannah flinched as Callie accidently poked her with the eyeliner pen in her hand.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t move,” Lexie exclaimed nearly burning her friend with the curling iron.

“Guys seriously?”

“Hey, you asked for our help,” retorted Jo as she threw some dresses on the bed for Savannah to try on.

“I did not. You bombard me and literally just showed up at my apartment.”

“You’re welcome,” Callie exclaimed, a smirk present on her face.

“Ah yes it’s like I’m Cinderella and you’re the ugly stepsisters.”

The three women dramatically gasped while Lexie exclaimed, “Did you just call us ugly?”

Forty minutes later with her hair and makeup complete, Savannah stood in her bathroom trying on the last of the dresses Jo had picked. The girls had vetoed all of them.

“You done in there?” Jo asked through the door.

“I can’t wear this.”

“Which one?”

“The one you brought.”

Jo smiled, “C’mon I know it will look perfect on you.”

“Let’s see it,” Callie added.

After several moments of debating, Savannah finally emerged from the bathroom. Jo had searched her closet for a dress her friend could borrow and when her eyes landed on the one, she was currently wearing she knew it was the one.

The dress was a form fitting spaghetti strapped piece with a large slit up the right leg. It fit the surgeon like a glove.

“You look amazing!” exclaimed Lexie.

  
“Hot!” added Callie

Jo quickly realized the uncomfortable almost frightened look on her face and the arms that were protectively crossed over her chest.

“What’s wrong?” a concerned Jo asked.

Slowly, Savannah removed her hands from her body showing off numerous scars running from her upper arms to her chest. Jo, herself being a survivor of domestic abuse herself knew exactly what they were from.

“I can’t... Mark can’t see me like this,” Savannah spoke, her voice beginning to shake.

“Listen to me. You are not defined by those scars,” Jo began, “If any man can’t see past your scars then he doesn’t deserve to be with you.”

_Every fear of being loved  
For who you are no matter what  
When you're stumbling, with each step  
And you're haunted by regret  
And the darkness closes in  
Just listen_

“Wow you look amazing,” Mark beamed, standing in the doorway of Savannah’s apartment holding a bouquet of sunflowers. He was dressed in dark grey button-down shirt and black dress pants; that signature Mark Sloan smirk adorned his face.

After some consideration, Savannah had decided to wear the dress Jo had pick but added a baby pick cardigan to hide the scars she didn’t want Mark to see.

“Thank you,” she smiled taking the bouquet.

“I’m just gonna run and put these in a vase,” Savannah announced and quickly leaves the room. The three girls stood with their arms folded staring at the man in front of them.

“Where are you taking her?” Callie questioned first.

“Canilli’s.”

“That’s the most expensive restaurant in town,” Callie shot back.

Mark shrugged, “She’s worth it.”

Rapid fire Lexie questioned next, “And after dinner?”

“To the Seattle Great Wheel.”

“What time do you plan on having her home?” Lexie added as Savannah had reentered the living room at that moment.

“Hey ugly stepsisters it’s time to go,” Savannah joked and attempted to ‘guide’ her friends out the door.

Jo turns to Mark as she is leaving and says, “Have her home by midnight.”

He laughs.

“I’m not joking,” she added with a serious tone.

_You're beautifully broken  
And you can be whole again  
Even a million scars  
Doesn't change whose you are  
You're worthy  
Beautifully broken  
You're beautifully broken (beautifully broken)  
You're beautifully broken_

Dinner had gone well. Savannah’s initial nerves had faded quickly. Mark had a way of making her feel so at ease. As promised Mark then took her to the Great Seattle Wheel which both of them thoroughly enjoyed.

“That was so fun,” Savannah exclaimed, “I feel like a child again. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“I just wanted to make you smile.”

“You know what I want,” the flirtation in her voice was subtle, she subconsciously stepped closer to Mark.

“What’s that?” the patented smirk was present as he began to close the gap between the two of them.

“Ice cream.”

Mark was taken aback, “Ice cream?”

She nodded, “An ice cream Sunday. You know any good places?”

Mark smiled, “You’re something else sunshine.”

_Oh, the god who made the stars  
Is the god that made your heart  
And he's holding you right now  
He can heal the broken parts  
And make beauty from the scars, the scars  
Beautiful scars!_

After stopping to get ice cream, vanilla for Mark, and mint chocolate chip for Savannah, the two had taken a stroll through a local park. Now, though neither wanted the night to end the date was nearly over. Mark insisted on walking her to her apartment. They stood silently outside her door, neither made a move until Savannah felt her cardigan slip off her arms. It was only for a brief moment, but she saw the look in Mark’s eyes. _This is what I was afraid of._

Mark noted the look of shame in her eyes, slowly his mand reached out to caress her cheek.

“Towards the end Logan’s abuse got worse,” Savannah began, “He...”

Mark removed his hand from her cheek but kept the close distance between the two, “You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I do,” she began, “One night when he came home from work, I was in the kitchen making dinner. He started yelling at me over god knows what. I had a knife in my hand,” her voice began to shake, “He ripped it out of my hand and,” tears we’re now freely flowing, “You can imagine the rest. Look Mark this date was great, amazing but I’m damaged goods. You deserve better than me.”

He moved closer, their chests now touching, “Do you know why I call you sunshine?”

“Because you’re an ass,” she smiled wiping away her tears.

“Because you are my sunshine. You light up every room you walk into.”

“Mark.”

He moved his hands back to her cheeks, “I’m gonna kiss you now. Okay?”

She nodded, “Okay.”

Their lips touched and it was as if the world stopped, Savannah’s heart pounded against her chest, her knees felt weak. This kiss was filled with all the pent-up emotions over the last several months. Her mind was racing but all she could focus on was the feel of his calloused hands against her skin, the feel of his rough lips against hers.

Once they pulled apart, both of their eyes glazed with lust, their lips swollen, Savannah was the one who spoke up in a timid yet somehow confident voice, “You want to come in?”

_You're beautifully broken  
And you can be whole again  
Even a million scars  
Doesn't change whose you are  
You're worthy  
You're beautifully broken oh oh _

She lay on the bed, Mark hovered over her, his eyes asking if she was sure. She nodded; never being surer about something.

Slowly he removed the straps and pulled the black dress down her body, his hands touching every part of exposed skin.

The dress now thrown to the floor, he took in the sight in front of him; Savannah laid on her bed in a black lace bra and panty. She smiled at him for a moment until she self consciously moved her arms to cover the scars the marked her body.

Lovingly, Mark moved her arms to her side. He traced each and every car and followed with a kiss.

_And you can be whole again oh oh yeah  
Even a million scars  
Doesn't change whose you are  
You're worthy  
You're beautifully broken (you're beautifully broken)  
Beautifully broken (you're beautifully broken)  
You're beautifully broken_

_“He walked into my heart, like he always belonged there, took down my walls and lit my soul on fire.”_

_Unknown_


End file.
